It’s hard

Some days it’s hard being me and others it’s pretty darn good. I am just coming out of the other side of a ridiculously bad muscle spasm in my neck/shoulder. I’m almost positive it was stress related as I let myself get WAY too worked up about the new job and kept forgetting to take my morning meds. This was truly a once in a blue moon sort of reaction though. I always forget that I have supplemental meds available to me when I get too anxious, and so forget to take them. Not anymore. I’m taking those suckers when I need to. I don’t need this to happen again! Ever. My shoulder is still sore, but the worst of it is over.


It’s good to be on the other side of that though. I can generally get a little done around the house before it starts getting too sore, so that’s good. At least I’m able to keep the laundry clean, if not folded.


Today is the last day of school for my boys. First and fourth grade are finished. Both boys did very well this year and I’m especially impressed with how far Younger Boy’s reading has come. He still likes reading books that are too easy for him, but we’re going to fix that this summer. Older Boy hates everything about school and says that his teacher is horrible and the worst person ever. I just don’t know what to say to that. He’s stuck with her next year as well. He hated his last teacher just as much. Younger Boy has that teacher this year and really likes her. Older seems to think that his teachers have a vendetta against him personally. How do you convince him that they don’t? I’ve even had him at conferences with me when they’ve made a point to saying how much they like him and his writing and what a neat kid they think he is. It doesn’t help. He says they are just putting on an act for the parents. I’m utterly stymied.


The boys are headed to summer camp next week. I can’t wait to hear how much they hate that, too. We’ve put them in three different kinds of camp and they’ve hated all of them. They don’t get a choice this summer though because we don’t know when I’m officially going to be hired and so we signed them up for the whole summer. They’re going to get to go to parks, and on all kinds of field trips so I’m hoping at least some of it appeals to them.


I adore my children and I know I’m not being cruel to them in any way, but sometimes it’s hard not to feel that I am when they hate everything so very much. We can tell them to get dressed because we want to go out and they immediately start complaining and, at times, crying. Even if we are going to take them to the movies and just haven’t told them, they complain. Even though there have been very few times we’ve taken them out and not done something that they liked. How on earth do you win?! My job is not to be their friend, but to be their parent. I know that. But every once in a while it’d be nice to be treated as well as they treat their friends. Ah, well. If they really are like me, I can look forward to being friends with them when they’re adults. I adore my parents and still wonder how I made it through my teenage years alive. They are truly good people. Lol!

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