My feel good manifesto (it has nothing to do with green and thrifty):
My husband told me I looked just like a 1950’s housewife yesterday. I was flattered, as that was the look I’d been going for. I’m not a small girl so sometimes it’s hard to find clothes that don’t look like something my grandmother would wear, or that are actually flattering. For the longest time I dressed to blend in with the wallpaper. Solid colors, jeans and t-shirts or long sleeved shirts without patterns. I was embarrassed about my size. Well, no more. Some switch flipped in my head and I finally realized that, while clothes don’t make the woman, feeling good in them surely helps.
Confidence can make anyone attractive. There are few truly ugly people in the world I’ve found, and those who are tend to be because they are ugly from within rather than without. A smile, kind thoughts, and a little confidence go a long way. I decided not to be ashamed of myself anymore because I’m the only me I get. I am a product of my choices and I’m working every day to make better ones. Just because some of my choices involved really good food doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be allowed to feel good about myself and dress how I want. I am healthy and happy, why shouldn’t I show it? So, while I’m not going crazy, when I bought summer clothes that fit, I bought a few dresses (with patterns). One was the dress I wore yesterday. I felt really pretty in it, and I think that made me look even better.
I am quickly approaching 40 years old. I will be officially middle aged soon. While it’s a daunting prospect, it’s also freeing. I don’t really care what other people think of me anymore. I am who I am and I am happy with that. I will dress and act to please myself rather than some notion of what others may expect of me. I am officially an adult (there’s no denying it anymore), and it feels good. I never thought I’d get to this point unless I was skinny and as traditionally pretty as I could make myself (long hair, straight teeth, thin and slightly tanned). Screw that. I am pretty the way I am. The only reason to lose weight is because I want to, not because it’s what society thinks is pretty. I will dress how I want and in what feels good to me. I will wear makeup or not as I feel like it, not to make myself attractive for other people. Man, it feels good to not really care what others think. I thought I’d gotten there when I turned 30 but I hadn’t quite. It’s come over me slowly over the last several years. It feels great.
While I felt indestructible when I was younger, this feels even better. I was very worried about what my friends thought of me and how the world saw me. Now I know that, if you want to be my friend, you’re going to have to accept me as I am. I’m not going to change to please anyone but myself. I am finally and truly becoming my own person. It took long enough! lol! I don’t regret a minute of the time that it took to get here – I’ve had fun along the way and it took all of those previous things to get me here – and I’m glad that I’m still evolving and changing and growing into myself. I feel like if I’m not careful I may turn out to be a force to be reckoned with. I don’t feel like being careful.